Moving

I am already bored with moving, and I have packed -- maybe -- one box!  Okay, I've done a little more than that, but it feels like there's no end in sight!  I'm waiting for that light at the end of the tunnel...  School coming to an end is kind of helping, but I'm also starting to get a little sad.  One of my ex-students came in this morning on the verge of tears, which made me start to cry...I really am going to miss them all.  Well, the majority of them.  Anyway, the more progress I make toward moving out brings along the realization of the life I'm leaving behind.  I'm going to leave a lot of new friends (and some old ones) here in East Texas, and I really don't know what (or who) I'm going back to in Dallas.    Just the physical part of moving in with my family after being on my own for six years now is a situation that I cannot fully comprehend at this moment in time.  I can't imagine what it will be like to be a "real adult" who happens to live at home.  Will I have a curfew?  (Didn't have one when I was in high school).  Chores?  (I may have had them, but I didn't do them).  I know I won't have a dedicated, covered parking space or shade or any of the other independent things I've become accustomed to.  I do know that I will continue to have DVR (a Godsend) and HBO for the new season of Big Love because I'll be paying for it, along with rent which hasn't really been discussed.  I mean, I offered $100/month, but the parental units didn't really say if they felt that was fair.  Until I get to Prague, I kinda feel like I'll be in Limbo.

Then comes my next point.  I am literally selling almost everything I own in order to do this, and if it doesn't sell then I will be giving it away because I'll have nowhere to store it.  I see this to be a pretty significant compromise for the use of one room in my parents' house.  Eventually I will want my own place, and I will have to replace a lot of the stuff I sell.  Who knows, though?  Maybe I will become some type of European royalty and then none of it will matter! ;)  Back to my point...  I keep getting told that this will mean "compromises for everyone," but I'm having difficulty seeing anyone else's compromising.  I suppose that's just the selfish nature of human existence.  Speaking of, I think I am going to start going to church again when I move home in order to keep some perspective.  That should help.  I'll definitely have some personal issues to handle and possible change.  My mindset, for one.  I really am trying hard to not sound or act spoiled, but the differences between my life when I was in high school and now seem astounding to me, and I don't think my family sees that.  Big picture: I am saving money for Prague... this may well become my new mantra!

Sorry if I sound whiney tonight, I apologize.  Again, I am trying to develop myself into a better person, so call me on it if you must.  Accepting constructive criticism is something else I want to learn.  I'm hoping all of it will help me be successful in life.  I don't like being a loser, and I think that's what I'm morphing into.  Well, that's enough about me.  I am ready to move on with the next step in my life, knowing that it will put me one step closer to where I really want to be!

Notes while writing:  I am watching last night's episode of Grey's Anatomy, and it's really weirding me out, so if this is incomprehensible, please forgive me!  I've only seen one other episode this season, so maybe that's what the problem is.  Like, for instance, the chick with Alex... what's her deal?  Did she have a bad abortion or something?  He is taking surprisingly good care of her.  And that dude in the cement.... why didn't he try to get up when it started stiffening?  HA HA!!  His reference to Hans Solo... I totally got that!  Wow, McDreamy is being a real pansy.  I think I should go so I can continue watching it.  Plus, I have to pack.  And wrap a birthday present.  Three, actually, but that's an entirely different story!